You know the feeling. You wake up and it is all you can do to put your feet on the floor. Maybe it’s due to that nasty bug that is going around, as was my case yesterday – or maybe your physical health is fine, but you are emotionally drained. Been there too, but yesterday it was the cough, the sinus thing and my body was rebelling – just stay home, forget fellowship today; relax, stay home, get healthy.
I cuddled up on the couch with my coffee and my Bible, still wearing my new super soft winter robe. I pulled the quilt my sweet sister-in-law made me up over my feet; my little black companion jumped up and curled into a ball beside me.
Lord, I’m not going anywhere today – I feel like crud.
Crud: messy, dirty, unpleasant, or worthless.
The dictionary mentions nothing about sickly, but I suppose when you are sick you kind of feel like those other things too. And isn’t it the messy stuff in life that tends to leave us feeling drained and often worthless?
After my half-hearted prayer time I opened His Word -
One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to meditate in His temple. Psalm 27:4
Yes Lord, this is my heart’s desire; to always seek You, always dwell with You.
But I can dwell with You right here this morning; in my living room,
You don’t mind do You?
“Of course not child, worship isn’t about the time or the place, it’s about Me.”
Thank You Father – peace – rest – freedom.
I looked out at the barren trees, their lifeless limbs magnified by the blanket of snow in our yard. Still, quiet, beautiful.
To behold the beauty of the Lord, even in the barren places – He is beautiful.
It dawned on me that it probably wasn’t just the illness that was making me sluggish. This was also the day of my child’s birth. The one who is wandering though trained up; his journey in the wilderness like a desert storm blowing harsh sand across this mother’s tender heart. So long Lord, it has been so long.
I continue my reading; Psalms, Proverbs and Paul’s encouragement to the Thessalonians –
…for now we really live, if you stand firm in the Lord. 1Thessalonians 3:8
I meditate in His temple. He is in me, I am His temple. I do not need walls, or musicians, or sermons. He is here – always – every minute – of every day. I meditate, I read, I pray.
I close His Word – renewed; the power of the crud not nearly as strong now. My eyes find the clock and I realize I have just enough time to get ready – to join the others who also meditate in His temple. We gather in the place between the walls, but the temple is within each smile, each good-morning, each voice that celebrates His love, His victories, His strength to endure. Together we are stronger, firmer in resolve – together we can more easily overcome the crud.
Paul said:
Excellent thoughts, Ann. Wherever we are and in whatever condition. My thought this morning when I hated to face the day was John 14:1. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful. It really helped me face the day with courage. Feeling physically blah and inadequate to face today’s challenges.
Paul
EA Bussey said:
Thanks Paul. That’s an encouraging verse! Sorry you’re having a rough day, but thankful you have His strength.